My Roller Coaster

Blog post originally posted April 13, 2016

July 2014- Photography @ Nicole Monique Photography

I had gained 50 lbs and decided it was time to rid the weight quickly. I chose a method many of us do...RESTRICTION

Working out 5 days a week and following a low carb fad diet…hint: low carb= no good. Yes, I lost the weight and fit into all of my old clothes but I knew deep down inside that restricting one food group to achieve this couldn’t have been good to my body. I focused on the happiness I had and went on with my life. A year later we were engaged and Chris enlisted in the U.S. Navy. Huge changes were inevitably coming our way as we tied the knot in fall of 2008. Almost immediately we found out we were expecting our first baby. Such a flood of emotions washed over me as Chris went off on deployment, and those emotions lingered for a few months. I was working full time in San Diego and honestly did not have a lot of desire to meet people outside of work, especially since we had just been informed that we would be moving to the North East before I was to deliver my first baby, Carter. 

July 2014- Photography @ Nicole Monique Photography

Trying to cope with all the stress & anxiety I turned to food.

It's such a common thing to do, especially when you isolate yourself, and especially when you isolate yourself during pregnancy. Before giving birth I had gained almost all of the 50 pounds I had lost previously. Shortly after being discharged I was down almost 25lbs. Over some time I was able to get most of the rest off. Holding onto about 10 pounds we were again moved after 18 months, this time to Virginia. When shore duty time came, we moved back to Northern California where Chris became a recruiter.

We were struggling to conceive for about 18 months when we were happily told we were expecting. At that point I had gained an additional 10 pounds due to poor eating associated with stress from not conceiving, buying our first home and wondering how much longer until we would move again. I felt so blessed finding out we were finally pregnant that the weight gain was not even on my radar. Throughout my pregnancy I did try to be more conscious of what I ate and how much. When I went in to deliver my second baby, Madden I had gained about 30 pounds, but due to the additional weight I already had on me I was right back up to the 185 point just like the last two times I gained a significant amount! 185 must be my lucky number! I knew that once I got the clear from my doctor that I would set out, yet again, on another journey to get to a more comfortable, sustainable weight… but this time something would have to be different.

November 2014 - 6 weeks post c-section

Lightbulbs

For me mentally it was significantly different because I knew that Madden was completing our family and we would not be having any more children. Before my second pregnancy I had attended a boot camp-style workout in my home town “Healthy Fit Bootcamp”. I gained a tremendous amount of knowledge from my trainer and realized just how far I could push myself! For that experience I am forever grateful to him. In  2014 I set out on my journey coupled with my knowledge from the class and most importantly PROPER nutrition! I was not going to get rid of the weight and have it come back because I followed a highly restrictive miserable diet. I knew it would take me longer but I knew that this time was different. After a few months of watching all of the changes happening with my mind and body I knew that training was what I was meant to do. I had been searching for quite a few years of being in accounting behind a desk; I knew that wasn’t all I had to offer. I truly believe that things happen for a reason and my struggles with weight have put me on such an incredible path. Being able to empower women to believe in themselves and being that person to keep pushing them until they do is an indescribable feeling. Knowing that what I’m doing is going to make someone feel comfortable in their own skin and be able to cope with other aspects of their lives better is immeasurable. This is why I will never work a day in my life because I truly love what I do!